October 24, 2008 cola87

I’m here.

I know I am. I dress every morning. I attend class. I talk to friends. I even force a laugh in here and there.

So what is the problem?

I guess the fact that I am only going through the motions doesn’t help.

I feel like the only part of my heart left, is the part that keeps me alive. I dont want to be here.

I dont want to do this anymore, if you aren’t on the sidelines cheering me on.

You were supposed to be at the finish line. Now there doesn’t seem to be a need to finish.

Every dream I had, every hope for the future was crushed with that phone call.

” I dont want to do this baby. I’m gonna finish cause I promised you that, but my heart is no longer in it. Its with you.”

I just keep thinking, what if I had called him that day…

What if I had been able to stop him..

Why couldn’t it have been me…

I think it would have been a lot easier if it was me…

“You were the light of all our lives, and of so many others.”

Now everything is dark….

Why……….

Entry Filed under: feelings...

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